Content On A Sunday
There are days I find myself needing to write. To pause and reflect on the journey I am on. Today is one of those days. It is a gloomy day here in Northern California, however gloomy just means rainy and dark. The rain is welcomed with open arms and I glance out the window at the sun trying desperately to peak out from the dark clouds. At this very moment I find myself content, more so than possibly ever before in my life. This is why I must write, this is why I must stop to say publicly how thankful I am for the life I am choosing to live.
In seven days my first novel will be released, Farewell My Loves. Even as I type those words I find myself getting misty eyed. You see it has been quite the long road to get to this point, to be able to say my release day is seven days away. The road was an unexpected one, full of twists and turns I never saw coming. To get to this point, there were tears, heartache, more tears and life lessons I never thought I would have to face. This story, was paralleling my life in a way, even if at the beginning I didn’t even see it. Today however I have found myself through my writing. I have found my voice through my characters. Though they are not real, in my head for the past seven years they were friends I came to rely on. Friends who I cried with, cheered on and ultimately have had to say goodbye too as I now get ready to share their story with the world. It is also strange that I am about to prepare myself for radio interviews, podcast interviews and whatever else may come my way.
I will be the first to admit I am no great literary author. Will there be mistakes in the book, probably. It is quite hard to make a 393 page manuscript perfect. Will some absolutely hate this story…for sure. Will others fall in love with it, well… I hope so. What I have learned through my writing is that it doesn’t matter what others think anymore. Whether that be through my writing or in real life. Life is not about living for others but living for you and what makes us each happy. Writing has gifted me freedom to be me….
Today I feel as though the fight to get to where I am today was all worth it. The ups and downs, tears and fears all got me to this very moment. Learning to live in the moment is true happiness, true contentment. Learning to let go of fears and beginning to accept yourself fully is the only way to live. Today I am no longer scared or worried of what others may think when they read my story or for that matter what they think of me. Today after years of trying to please others, I throw my hands up and say… “I know longer give a shit”
I know who I am.. I am a wonderful mother. I am a wonderful friend. I am a fantastic wife. I am a humanitarian. I am a woman who will always fight for what is right. I have spoken my truth even when my voice shakes and I will continue to live as though it may be my last. You see I have lived… I have failed, I have achieved and now as I stand at the cliff of a new chapter in my life as author I am spreading my wings and leaping off. I am not scared of failure or success, because this was my dream. I dreamed since I was a small child to be an author and today I am that.
Do you have a dream? What is stopping you from achieving it? Anyone is capable of dreaming, but not everyone is capable of making their dreams come true because of lack of motivation. But realize that each of us can make it happen with dedication, focus and a strong belief in yourself even when others may doubt. Stop talking and start doing. It’s the only way your dreams can come to pass.
Cheers to our dreams and finding contentment in ourselves! When you choose to free yourself from the wrath of others, you may find yourself so content it’s hard to stop smiling.