7 Years? Really?

dying to be me

7 Years? Really?

I woke up today like it was any other morning, until Facebook helped me remember what today really is. At first thought I’m glad that it took Facebook to help me remember, because that means I’ve moved on and don’t think about it very often anymore. Seven years today… seven years ago it was a beautiful spring day, warm in fact. Today as I look at my dining room windows it’s currently pouring and dark outside.

Seven years ago today I was told “You have cancer”. Seven years ago today I wasn’t sure if I was going to still be alive in five years. Seven years ago today I panicked because I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. Seven years ago today my body shook as I held the phone to make notes while the Doctor gave me instructions on what to do next.

But today I feel more alive then every. Today I am grateful to not only be alive but to be living with love in my heart and more centered than I have felt in a long time. Today I am overwhelmed with gratitude as I watched Colbey by now eleven year old get presented with a special award last night for his part in our humanitarian work.colbey award

Today I feel at peace with being still and not having to take on the world. Today I no longer feel rushed to build, to do and to accomplish because I no longer have a fear of dying. Today I am love, I am who I am and I am learning to love myself. Today I no longer identify myself as cancer because I am more than my cancer story. Today I am alive I am healthy and I present, in this very moment.

I read a wonderful book recently, thanks to a recommendation from a friend. It has shifted my life and thinking helping me with clarity. I highly suggest it. dying to be me

This past year 2015 may have been my hardest year yet, but today is a new day. But last year was also a moment that will forever be the highlights of my life. Thank you to those who shared in that moment. amber book launch

Today I am learning in my stillness joy comes within. Love comes from within. So in tradition of posting something on this day, here is my truths of this moment and on this anniversary date. So as I move farther and farther away from that moment when I heard the words “You have cancer” I move slower and more mindful into my life, this gift to experience this world and all it has to offer.

purpose

Today I am finally learning to just be me… no more race to accomplish, race to achieve but rather enjoy the ride and be love and give and receive it. Who knows that this year will hold or what I will write a year from now. Honestly who cares. Cheers to this moment, cheers to life and cheers to love.

 

 

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